The Terrifying Mr. Darcy

I have a confession to make: I've never been enamored of Mr. Darcy.  I know, I know.  For one thing, I didn't read Pride and Prejudice until after high school.  I watched the BBC miniseries with a couple of friends (not Krispy) who adored P&P, and prior to this I had heard many a girl gush of her love for the incredibly hot Mr. Darcy, so perhaps my expectations were skewed from all the hype.

I mean, Darcy's all right.  In the end, he owns up to being a douchebag, changes his attitude, and proves himself noble, which is all cool.  But when he's being all cool and noble and all it's totally behind the scenes and we don't really see his transformation, just the end results that kind of pop up out of nowhere.

So, yes, I like Darcy all right, though I've never loved him.  Which is why when I heard from Krispy and her Sister that in the UK somebody made a 12-foot-tall statue of Mr. Darcy and plunged it into a lake to recreate the scene of Colin Firth rising from the lake in the BBC miniseries--a scene which isn't even in the book, might I add--I was bemused.

Then they showed me pictures and I.

Was.

Horrified.

Brace yourself.  It's not pretty.  Far from it.  Especially if you like Colin Firth and Mr. Darcy and think Colin Firth arising from a lake with his dark hair tousled and his dripping clothes clinging to the hard outlines of his muscular body is attractive.

In fact, you know what, I don't even know if I can bear to post a picture of it here.  Just look at the picture in this Guardian article. 

Mind you, I'm not horrified because I love Mr. Darcy.  I'm horrified because it's a 12-foot-tall fiberglass statue that looks vaguely like Colin Firth and a great deal more like when it's after midnight and a faint scuttling sound wakes me up from a delightful dream about baby unicorns riding galactic creampuffs and I lie awake in bed paralyzed by fear for the next six hours with my eyes glued to the curtains because all I can think of is that statue lurking outside my window and oh god I swear I see the faintest silhouette of it in the moonlight and it's moving.

Ahem.

Anyway, Krispy's Sister also found this statue to be highly disturbing and she wrote a very appropriate Buzzfeed article about it entitled "Mr. Darcy Emerges from a Lake and Into My Nightmares", a title she came up with all on her own and takes the words right out of my mouth or rather away from my fingertips.  The article mentions the fact that the gigantic statue is in fact going on a tour of the UK, and raises the question: If he's going on tour now, where was he popping up before?

This is where she asked me for my meager Photoshop skillz.  I obliged, only because I know that I must face my fears in order to conquer them.  Which in this case meant staring at pictures of the terrifying Mr. Darcy for more than an hour as I documented the statue's journey prior to his unveiling on July 8.

And now, since I had to face my fears, KRISPY AND SISTER, FACE YOURS:

Family portrait for Independence Day.

Is Darcy a photobooth prop, a photobomber, or a 12-foot-tall specter of unmitigated evil?
Answer: All of the above.

Having forced your eyes to see the unseeable, dear friends, have a happy Friday.  Stay cool and look over your shoulder because you never know where Darcy will pop up next.

Did you read Pride & Prejudice?  Did you crush on Mr. Darcy?

Boggling Old Writing

Ever had one of those days where you're feeling both brave and masochistic, and so you decide to dive into old folders and unearth old documents filled with old writing that make you feel really old?

That was me.  Only it wasn't day, it was night.  And it didn't exactly make me feel old so much as make me mystified because, well, I had no idea WTF I was thinking or where I was going with any of these.  I'd hoped to maybe uncover some ancient gems and instead unearthed...uh, rocks.  That, even if they were to be polished, still possess a most confounding form and mystery composition.

So!  I thought I'd share with you a few of these rocks.  Maybe you'll have more clue than me as to what I was thinking at the time.

From the aptly titled "eyelash.doc" from (not too long ago) 2010:

It began with an eyelash.  About a centimeter long, black, slightly curved so that it might have been a bow for the tiniest of pixies.

Okay!  That's not too bad.  I kind of like it.  Only that's the entirety of the document: two sentences, no followup, no notes, no outline, nothing, and I don't even remember writing those two lines.

As I scrolled through these ancient files, one titled "draconityvirtue.doc" from 2003 caught my eye.  I clicked thereupon and beheld this text:

            As we stroll, my friend, let us extol on the virtues of draconity.  To be certain, there are times enough and more than enough that we cannot help but be stricken aghast by what we see as no more than base bestial need—yet in their own eyes they are the most prestigious and elegant of creatures.
            Watch your step, my friend!  Do not trip upon that branch—look how it moves obligingly with the wind, claws out to entrap unwary feet.

Ooookay.  Uh.  Clearly I was writing about somebody talking about the, uh, virtues of draconity.  There are at least two people, one lecturing the other, and they're walking around and there's a branch lying on the ground and--yeah, all right, that's about all I get from this piece.  I have the very vague feeling that this was going to be some sort of comeuppance story where the lectured gets his/her comeuppance and the story ends with the lecturer enjoying a HAHA, SUCKER moment, but maybe it was the other way around considering how poncy-sounding the narrator is.

All right.  Those first two samples weren't too boggling even if I don't really remember much about them, how they came about or where they were going.

But then I found this thing from "bara or rose.doc" circa 2000:

"Bara" means "rose" in Japanese, as in the rose flower which blossoms from a thorny plant.  Now then, can you see any resemblance at all in the spelling of the word "rose" and "bara" in romanji?

I...I...well, no, I don't see any resemblance at all.  Why the hell should I?  They're two completely unrelated languages.  What was I thinking when I wrote this?  Obviously 13 years ago it was a big enough thought and good enough idea that it deserved to be written down and saved in its own document.  But that thought and idea shriveled away into nonexistence because I remember nothing, nothing as to where I was going with this except that it was supposed to be some kind of story that involved Japanese and English and roses.  Apparently.

Reading that bara/rose thing bemused me so much that I had to stop wading through my ancient writing folder.  The rest of the documents will keep until I am ready to venture once more unto the breach, dear friends.

Have you ever come across old story snippets where you have no idea what you were thinking? Find a snippet or two of thoroughly boggling writing (ancient or otherwise) and share!  Perhaps you can help me nag bully persuade Krispy to dig out some interesting old tidbits too.

Randomosity on Fridays: Magic of the Interwebz

OMG, you guys, guess what today is? FRIDAY! Yesterday was Thursday! Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards!

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, well, just take a look at this music video. It has the most literal song lyrics like ever.



It went viral this past weekend, and I've had this piece of musical genius stuck in my head for the majority of the week. Yes, I was looking forward to Friday and "fun fun, think about fun."

Ahem, thus opens this week's Interwebby-themed Randomosity on Fridays!

1. I recently discovered the Stats tab on Blogger. Yeah, I'm a little slow. Anyway, I was surprised and amused to find that the majority of our traffic comes from Robot Unicorn Attack and Anakin Skywalker scar google searches. I don't even remember writing...

Oh right, we did write those posts. I'm sorry all you google searchers who arrived here and found nothing REMOTELY like what you were looking for. The fact is I have NO IDEA why Anakin Skywalker has that scar, and Alz wrote the Robot Unicorn post. Edit: Oh wait, Alz wrote the scar post too, and apparently I DO know how Anakin got that scar because I say so in said post. Whut.


2. However, clearly the lesson of this discovery is that I need to write more about Anakin Skywalker, and actually, I do have a lot to say about him. I did my senior year speech project in high school about him.

You think I'm kidding, but I'm not.


3. Okay, it was actually more about Obi-Wan (since I think Anakin's a brat), but where there's Kenobi, there's Skywalker, and OH GOD I did not just quote Clone Wars (yeah, I watch that too). But yes, I did. I'm going to stop myself now because this is turning into embarrassing word vomit, even though you all already know I'm an epic nerd.

Buuut Anakin on Clone Wars is voiced by this hottie, so yeah...




4. In less fun "going viral" internet video news, UCLA student Alexandra Wallace posted a video this weekend in which she goes on a racist rant about Asians, specifically ones in the library. To add further insult to injury, she brings up the tsunami. The tsunami. As in the horrific natural disaster that has devastated an entire nation and its people that only happened like A FEW DAYS before she posted her ranty vid. Girl, that is so not on, and um, I'm American too, thanks. (This whole thing extra riles the sister up because she goes to UCLA.)

Tons of response videos have since surfaced, but DavidSoComedy's vlog - Asians in the Library about it is the funniest I've seen. *Be warned: mild cursing and some "innapropriosity"


5. BUT the NUMBER 1 awesomest Internet-related moment of this week was our meeting fellow blogger & writer SOPHIA from Sophia the Writer IN REAL LIFE!!! Our mutual lamenting over the closing of Borders stores brought us to the realization that we're from roughly the SAME AREA.

So on Sunday, we met up for a late brunch/lunch, and we ended up chatting for the entire afternoon. Fun times. Sophia was totally sweet and funny, and we share a great love of boba, karaoke, and abusing CAPS LOCK WHEN WE ARE EXCITED!!! So it's pretty awesome. This was a big deal for all involved because this was the first time any of us have met other bloggers IN REAL LIFE. Yay!

Unfortunately, we have no pictures of the event since both Sophia and I forgot our cameras and Alz is painfully camera-shy anyway.

HOWEVER, as a souvenir of the meeting, we did wrangle for you, dear readers, a special GUEST POST from Miss Sophia. So look out for it on Wednesday! Sophia will be blogging about composing music and composing books. (Yeah, she's multi-talented!)

In the mean time, you can catch Alz's post about her experience as a Fantasy writer in an MFA program over at Sophia's blog.

Have a happenin' weekend everyone! After all, you know what day it is! ;) What are your Interwebby stories this week?




P.S. Here are some good posts with compiled links for how you can help earthquake and tsunami relief efforts in Japan. Disaster like this can bring out the worst in people, but it can also bring out the best.

Huffington Post: How to Help Japan: Earthquake Relief Options
Hyphen Magazine: Earthquake and Tsunami Relief Efforts in Japan
League of Extraordinary Writers blog: YA/MG Community Mobilizes to Help Japan

Randomosity on Thursday?

Yep, you read that right, folks. I'm doing my Randomosity post a day early because TOMORROW, we at A Nudge will be participating in Elana, Alex and Jen's Great Blogging Experiment!

The topic is Writing Compelling Characters. I'm excited but also freaked because Alz and I haven't discussed what exactly we will be doing and/or writing about, and I want to watch the season premiere of Fringe tomorrow. Yes, priorities, I know. Besides, I already did most of my freaking out this weekend when I cried, "I don't even know if I do write compelling characters!!!" - to which Alz assured me I did, but she's possibly just being nice.

So SEE YOU TOMORROW HERE for Character Bloggage!

Ahem. Onwards and upwards! NYC picture-spam will be next week since I'm still uploading them.

1. Next week is Banned Books Week. I'm sure many of you have heard of the stir surrounding the modern YA classic SPEAK. Basically, some guy wants to ban it from his school district because he thinks it's pornography. Yeah, SRSLY. Read more about this here at author Laurie Halse Anderson's blog, and be sure to watch the SPEAK poem video. It's moving.

2. In that vein, I will endeavor to read a Banned Book next week since I'm finishing up with my current read. Perhaps SPEAK? Also, check out the #speakloudly hashtag on Twitter.

3. TV IS BACK! Glee on Tuesday, Criminal Minds yesterday, FRINGE tonight, Supernatural on Friday!!! AH! I need to control myself so I don't spend all my time on TV.

4. People, I am freaking out about this. The Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 1 theatrical trailer is out!!! IT'S SO EPIC!!!

5. I'm already thinking about Halloween. Any costume ideas? I have Gail Carriger's Blameless sitting on my desk, which makes me want to go all steampunk (but mostly I want to read it!)


What's your random this week and who else is participating in the blogging experiment tomorrow?!


P.S. Yesterday was the first day of autumn, and also the Moon Festival! I'm not really a fan of moon cakes, but the Moon Festival's cool! Hope you all had a good one!