2.27.2013

People Give Alz Unicorns

First off, someone nominated Krispy and me for Unpublished Authors with Awesome Writing Style for the Paying Forward Awards!  Wow.  Thank you, Misha, and thank you whoever nominated us!  Krispy and I are honored.  Now I feel like I should have written a real post today, composed with literary flair and keen wit.  Instead, I have a gratuitous picfest rife with randomosity and my typical level of Ghiradelli chocolate milk tea-fueled late-night babble.

Second off, thank you for the well-wishes regarding my health!  I am 90% recovered and ready to frolic once more, preferably with unicorns.  Which leads me into the unicorn meat of today's post!

If you cut Alz, she will probably bleed milk tea and unicorns.  And blood too, of course.  But unlike King Haggard, I haven't gathered up all the unicorns in the world except for one and herded them into the ocean because I love them so much--instead I keep them around the house and sit on them.  (Well, some of them anyway.)  Though I daresay 40% of my collection has been given to me over the years from other people--entirely unbidden because, well, they know me so well.

For instance, Krispy and her sister gave me these:

This was for Valentine's Day a couple of years ago.
It's a rainbow unicorn mailbox with matching valentines!
It even came with a mini marker set.
Everybody loves Pusheen.
Our mutual friend who is also a baker/sewer/sculptor/paper-flower-maker/marvelously talented made me this, which is featured on a garland of a bunch of other adorable felt animals:

The lighting was too crappy for me to get a good shot
of all the other animals, but there are birds and foxes and stags and
yeah, it is fricking awesome.
My uncle, an astonishingly astute man, gave me this:

I have yet to sample the gum,
but I am assured that is freakin' magical.
Another mutual friend gave me these some years ago:

The tin says "free prize inside",
which turned out to be the smoochy sticker.
My brother and sister-in-law gave me these:

They gave them to me at different times, by the way.
The button says "My other ride".
And yes, the tin does open to reveal the very special unicorn treat inside:

Krispy was horrified. But my bro knows me well.
And you thought that "unicorn meat" reference at the top of the
post was an innocent metaphor.
IT WASN'T.
And of course I cannot forget my mom, who knows me equally well (if not better) and got me these:

This was a souvenir from Oregon. It has nothing to do
with Oregon, but my mom knows me exceedingly well.
BALLOONICORN. BEST MOM IN THE UNIVERSE.
The little fat Pillow Pet beanie unicorn I got myself though.
Last but not least, here is my shameful proud collection of unicorn Pillow Pets:


To explain the photo above, it is as follows (and to keep from sounding like a total crazyface, keep in mind that all this happened over the course of a few years):

1. The original purple unicorn Pillow Pet was given to me by yet another uncle.

2. I then mentioned that the keychain ones are so teeny they're pretty much doll-sized and my sister-in-law proceeded to give me one.

3. Then, since I had a big one and a tiny one, I went ahead and bought the medium-sized (Pee Wee) purple unicorn.  One of each size, you know, I could stack them up and it'd be cute.  Really.  I thought that was the end of it.

4. Then!  OMFG, I saw the rainbow unicorn version at Target one day and I needed it so badly I nearly imploded there in the store.

5. And then, well, I found another purple full-size unicorn at a discount store and, well, hey, 50% off, well, why not?

6. At yet another discount store when I was with Krispy and her sister, Krispy found the fat unicorn beanie in a pile of dog toys, and since it was cute and fat and I already had all the others...uh...

7. Okay, okay, so I got a second Pee Wee because there was a price-cut and it was only $5.  That's 50% off!

8. A few days ago, Krispy and her sister gave me an early birthday present in the form of the neon blue unicorn that I didn't even know existed and it is so fat and huggably squishy, you have no idea.

9. And I may or may not have a unicorn Glow Pet on order that I ordered prior to the second Pee Wee and the neon unicorn.

Mind you, this selection of unicornosity is only what was close to hand that I could think of off the top of my head.  The true extent of unicorns romping around is possibly maybe slightly a little bit more than this.

Should my latest jewelry project turn out well, expect a possible unicorny update in the future.

In the meantime, here are some fantabulous unicorn books you should check out!

The Last Unicorn   The Last Unicorn   Into the Land of the Unicorns (Unicorn Chronicles, #1)   Here There Be Unicorns

The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
The Last Unicorn (graphic novel) by Peter S. Beagle, Peter Gillis, Renae De Liz, and Ray Dillon
Into the Land of the Unicorns by Bruce Coville
Here There Be Unicorns by Jane Yolen & David Wilgus

Got any favorite unicorn books? Do you have an excessive extensive collection of something that's not entirely your fault?

10 comments:

Julie Dao said...

HAHAHAH!!! I love the tin of unicorn meat. I've also been a unicorn lover forever. The very first book I wrote featured unicorns that could fly. I called them "unipegs."

XiXi said...

Yup, A Glory of Unicorns, compiled by Bruce Coville. The first short story in it is an excerpt from Into the Land of the Unicorns, haha.

Connie Keller said...

I have to say I was expecting the can of unicorn meat to have Spam in it. And I did get the giggles when I saw the stuffed unicorn that came inside. I guess I have an odd sense of humor. :)

Spartezda said...

A fellow sister in unicorns! Up til my fifteenth birthday no one ever had to worry about what to get me, because the answer was UNICORNS. Unless it was a new cabinet in which to display all the unicorn statues. That worked too! I still have swatches of my unicorn wallpaper saved somewhere.

And those books! THE BOOKS OF MY CHILDHOOD. (I think I read the Coville one approximately eleventymillion times). I don't know how my mom didn't rage and destroy the TV after the seven hundredth viewing of the Last Unicorn movie.

The first novel I wrote had flying unicorns in it...they didn't have wings, either. Unicorns didn't need wings to fly, just SHEER WILLPOWER. CANTERING THROUGH THE SKY LIKE MOFOS. Also it was a unicorn murder mystery. I think secretly I was certain there was no worse crime than killing baby unicorns, so that was the perfect event to incite an epic fantasy novel's plot. Sometimes I am perversely proud of my younger self.

linda said...

LOL, love your unicorn collection, Alz! Especially all the very INTERESTING gifts you've accumulated over the years.

Let's see, I've read Into the Land of Unicorns (and the second book I think), and the first book of The Unicorns of Balinor, and the short story collection, A Glory of Unicorns. And yes, I was totally influenced by these to write a crappy story about unicorns when I was in middle school. It was very awful. XD

Claire Legrand said...

omg best post ever?!?! I THINK SO.

Also, loooove Unicorn Chronicles. Recently met Bruce Coville and just about flipped my shiz with fangirlish delight. Unicorn Chronicles were my CHILDHOOD.

You = awesome

Merc Rustad said...

That is awesome. :D

My collection habits involve velociraptors, mostly of the figurine kind. Sadly, I have mostly had to acquire this myself, because people do not seem to magically know that velociraptors are always acceptable!

(There is this 15 foot bronze statue of a raptor in this garden store place store I drive past, although I am a little afraid to look at the price. But I have vowed that one day, IT WILL BE MINE. I also would not object to acquiring the robotics used in Jurassic Park...)

(And this is probably what I would do if I had a million dollars, yes. Buy all the velociraptors.)

akossiwaketoglo.com said...

OMG! Unicorns! All kinds of Unicorns! I'm thinking I should save this post for "those days" to cheer myself up.

love it. love it.

~Akoss

swhisted said...

Ah! LOVE unicorns (maybe not to the extent of owning any, though?)! I've got a story I plan on wedging one into one day. :)

My favorite unicorn book(s) are Diana Peterfreund's KILLER UNICORN series. They're not your average, fluffy unicorns. ;)

lbdiamond said...

I loved The Last Unicorn--I was obsessed with the movie as a kid. I own the book and soundtrack now, LOL!