Boggling Old Writing

Ever had one of those days where you're feeling both brave and masochistic, and so you decide to dive into old folders and unearth old documents filled with old writing that make you feel really old?

That was me.  Only it wasn't day, it was night.  And it didn't exactly make me feel old so much as make me mystified because, well, I had no idea WTF I was thinking or where I was going with any of these.  I'd hoped to maybe uncover some ancient gems and instead unearthed...uh, rocks.  That, even if they were to be polished, still possess a most confounding form and mystery composition.

So!  I thought I'd share with you a few of these rocks.  Maybe you'll have more clue than me as to what I was thinking at the time.

From the aptly titled "eyelash.doc" from (not too long ago) 2010:

It began with an eyelash.  About a centimeter long, black, slightly curved so that it might have been a bow for the tiniest of pixies.

Okay!  That's not too bad.  I kind of like it.  Only that's the entirety of the document: two sentences, no followup, no notes, no outline, nothing, and I don't even remember writing those two lines.

As I scrolled through these ancient files, one titled "draconityvirtue.doc" from 2003 caught my eye.  I clicked thereupon and beheld this text:

            As we stroll, my friend, let us extol on the virtues of draconity.  To be certain, there are times enough and more than enough that we cannot help but be stricken aghast by what we see as no more than base bestial need—yet in their own eyes they are the most prestigious and elegant of creatures.
            Watch your step, my friend!  Do not trip upon that branch—look how it moves obligingly with the wind, claws out to entrap unwary feet.

Ooookay.  Uh.  Clearly I was writing about somebody talking about the, uh, virtues of draconity.  There are at least two people, one lecturing the other, and they're walking around and there's a branch lying on the ground and--yeah, all right, that's about all I get from this piece.  I have the very vague feeling that this was going to be some sort of comeuppance story where the lectured gets his/her comeuppance and the story ends with the lecturer enjoying a HAHA, SUCKER moment, but maybe it was the other way around considering how poncy-sounding the narrator is.

All right.  Those first two samples weren't too boggling even if I don't really remember much about them, how they came about or where they were going.

But then I found this thing from "bara or rose.doc" circa 2000:

"Bara" means "rose" in Japanese, as in the rose flower which blossoms from a thorny plant.  Now then, can you see any resemblance at all in the spelling of the word "rose" and "bara" in romanji?

I...I...well, no, I don't see any resemblance at all.  Why the hell should I?  They're two completely unrelated languages.  What was I thinking when I wrote this?  Obviously 13 years ago it was a big enough thought and good enough idea that it deserved to be written down and saved in its own document.  But that thought and idea shriveled away into nonexistence because I remember nothing, nothing as to where I was going with this except that it was supposed to be some kind of story that involved Japanese and English and roses.  Apparently.

Reading that bara/rose thing bemused me so much that I had to stop wading through my ancient writing folder.  The rest of the documents will keep until I am ready to venture once more unto the breach, dear friends.

Have you ever come across old story snippets where you have no idea what you were thinking? Find a snippet or two of thoroughly boggling writing (ancient or otherwise) and share!  Perhaps you can help me nag bully persuade Krispy to dig out some interesting old tidbits too.


Angela Brown said...

I've done that before, dug around the old docs folder. I found a snippet from a folder called Empty Nests. Yeah, know I was going through some sore of erotica phase with couples in the rain in the park.


Um, I was with the pixie sized bow story. That one could really go place.

The bara/rose one. Um...I uh, well, uh raaa...hmmm. Got nothing. :-)

Sophia Chang said...

Ok that first one was actually really really intriguing - Camp NaNo!!!

linda said...

Ahahaha that is awesome! Your snippets are actually good. I can still vaguely remember the kind of stuff I wrote, and I assure you they were all very cliched and awful and poorly-written. XD Maybe I'll go hunt some down when I get home.


Lydia Kang said...

On occasion I've dug up my old manuscript from my first book and am surprised. Some of it's good, and some of it's cringe-worthy! Yours are not embarrassing at all!