6.07.2013

Loki and the Mystery of the Missing Poo

Today I have a story for you.  It is as yet an unfinished story, but perhaps you will be able to help Krispy and me finish it.  Today I bring you a tale most wondrous, most intriguing, most disturbing, most everything--today I bring you the story of--

Loki and the Mystery of the Missing Poo

As you may know, Krispy and her Sister have a dog named Loki.  Many is the day that I frolic over to their house for a dose of the Overlord of Cute.

Krispy, Krispy's Sister, and Alz,
loyal slaves and willing servants to the Overlord of Cute.
 Loki is a big boy now, if not in size or maturity, then at least in, uh, age, I guess.  He's over a year old!  Long has it been since the day he entered our lives, a little brown pudgy puppy.

"You were made to be ruled."
Loki has his own pen where he sleeps during the night and from wither he is unleashed in the mornings to wreak havoc upon the world and especially upon ivy and bugs, in particular flying bugs, a favorite delicacy of his.

Recently, a most confounding puzzle has come to the forefront of our attention.  Every night, Krispy and her Sister go on a tour of poo duty around the yard, armed with a flashlight, plastic bag, and latex glove, while I play with Loki.


They clean up his poo twice: once in the morning and again at night.  Sometimes though Krispy and her Sister have noticed that there are mysteriously no poos for them to clean up at night.  All right, that's not too odd.  Maybe he just didn't take a dump or someone else cleaned it up or he's just going to relieve himself sometime during the night after he's been put into his pen, or maybe he even did something unspeakable to it that he's done in the past and that we always encourage/scold him not to do whenever we've noticed him doing it though thank god he hasn't done it lately, Loki, you get food and treats all the time everyday, don't go around eating things that exit your body for a reason and are not meant for consumption.

Censored.
One night, we discovered something.  Sometimes if Loki poos in his pen during the day, Krispy and her Sister close the gate so that he can't go in and step in it or play with it or do unspeakable things with it.  He has no problem with this since he gets to romp around the yard or lie in the shade and do very important things like chew on his toys or sleep.

They had closed the gate during the day and then in the evening, while I played with Loki and they went to collect his poo, they discovered that his poo was gone!
It was no fluke.  It happened again, and again, always in the evening.  Not every evening, but often enough that we knew that there was a Poo Thief that struck in the night, stealing away Loki's posterior excretions for reasons unknown.  Sometimes the poo outside his pen would be missing too, but it was the ones inside the locked pent that we knew for sure were the diabolical work of the Poo Monster.  Sometimes entire turds would vanish, other times only partial poops.

What the hell, we now wonder, could be stealing his poo?  His pen is small and enclosed, so if it's a creature, it has to be something that can climb a brick wall or fly.  If it's an insect, it must be either huge or part of an army of insects.  And whatever it is clearly possesses a nocturnal nature.

There's a rat that lives on the roof/in the yard, but rats aren't likely to steal dog poop.
There are possums in the area, but again, it doesn't seem like something a possum would do.
Birds?  Some kind of nocturnal poop-eating owl that swoops out of the sky to carry off its foul prey?
Cockroaches or beetles or other insects don't seem likely since it happens in the span of a few hours.
So far the only idea we've come up with to catch a glimpse of the mysterious Poo Thief is to set up a night-vision camera to record its comings and goings.  Unfortunately we do not have a night-vision camera, so the mystery remains as yet unsolved.

Have a happy weekend and while you're at it, throw some guesses this way and tell us--what the heck is stealing Loki's poo?

8 comments:

Connie Keller said...

Loved your story and illustrations!! I wish the poo thief would come to our house.

BTW, maybe it's dung beetles.

Julie Dao said...

Are you sure there's no one else on vigilante poop duty?

Tere Kirkland said...

It's obvious that this is some midnight honey-dipping, dog-poo scooping vigilante.

Or, ya know, another dog. :)

Madeline Jane said...

Hmmm, my Chihuahua likes to eat poo. . . maybe that's where it went? ;) But this story just made my day!

Lydia Kang said...

Obviously, it's Tom Hiddleston.

So I totally adored this post! The illustrations, the pixeled-out naughtiness...epic!

linda said...

i really did not want to spend that much time thinking about what might have happened to the poo... especially since it's right around lunch time >.< thanks for the pixelation at least, haha. i guess i should've backed away when i saw the blog title!

akossiwaketoglo.com said...

hahaha
rofl
omg! You guys!!! This is so funny even though you are right to be concerned.

Maybe the poop gnomes are the guilty ones? Only because I can't bring myself to think of the alternative. Oh no! no! no!

PS: Thanks for the laughter and I hope "he" who is responsible for the missing poop doesn't get sick or something.

~Akoss

lbdiamond said...

Haha! Loved the drawings.