A Krispy Timeline

 Today is August 16. It is a day worthy of note, for many strange and wondrous things have occurred on this day throughout the centuries. Please join me in a chronicle of August 16th's points of interest:

On this day in 546 B.C., Krispy hatched fully clothed from an egg.

On this day in 200 B.C., Krispy became responsible for the extinction of the silver-spotted unicorn.

On this day in 141 B.C., Krispy pulled the evolutionary strings necessary for George Lucas to some day be born.

On this day in 12 B.C., Krispy went to sleep.

On this day in 1378, the fourth emperor of the Ming Dynasty, the Hongxi Emperor, was born.

On this day in 1386, Alz crawled out of the darkness.

On this day in 1401, Krispy was still asleep.

On this day in 1513, during the Battle of the Guinegate, King Henry VIII of England kicked some French ass.

On this day in 1514, Krispy woke up.

On this day in 1568, Krispy wrote Romeo and Juliet, which work would later be stolen by a poncy little upstart named William Shakespeare.

On this day in 1635, Krispy discovered ice cream.

On this day in 1644, Krispy saw a shark up close and personal for the first time.

On this day in 1645, Krispy slept.

On this day in 1648, Krispy snorted and rolled over in her sleep deep in her limestone lair.

On this day in 1658, Krispy woke up.

On this day in 1659, inspired by her years-long dream, Krispy genetically engineered the panda and traveled back through time to distribute it in bamboo groves all throughout China, as well as one little-known bamboo grove on a tiny island just off the southern coast of Australia.
On this day in 1692, Krispy founded the mighty kingdom of Bobaland.

On this day in 1693, Krispy unfounded the kingdom of Bobaland and named it Germany instead, only to find that the people had been calling it Germany for a long time already.

On this day in 1777, during the Battle of Bennington of the (American) Revolutionary War, General John Stark of the Americans kicked British ass.

Also on this day in 1777, Krispy kicked ass in the name of the United States of America, though the accuracy of her flag was questionable.

On this day in 1888, T. E. Lawrence A.K.A. Lawrence of Arabia was born.

On this day in 1889, Krispy hunted sharks all day but was disappointed because she inexplicably encountered no quarry at all.

On this day in 1890, Krispy faced Buffalo Bill in a quickdraw at high noon in a little town called Kangaru Point.
On this day in 1913, Tohoku University in Japan admitted that women are equally as awesome as men and admitted its first female students.

On this day in 1930, Ub Iwerks (original creator of Mickey Mouse) created the first color sound cartoon, Fiddlesticks.

On this day in 1932, Krispy wrestled her first shark. And won.

On this day in 1934, Diana Wynne Jones, author of Howl's Moving Castle amongst many other marvelous works, was born.

On this day in 1956, Bela Lugosi died.

On this day in 1962, Steve Carell was born.

On this day in 1967, Krispy founded the Association for the Promotion and Uplifting of Shark Happiness, with the acronym of APUSH.

On this day in 1994, Krispy wrestled another shark. And lost.

Also on this day in 1994, Krispy disbanded APUSH.

On this day in 2010, Krispy thought about ice cream.

And there you have it. A record of incidences and events that happened on August 16th throughout Krispy's history. I hope you have enjoyed this educational experience and will join me in wishing Krispy a happy birthday indeed. ♥♥♥

Partial August 16th Source: The Ubiquitous Wikipedia

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