Happy Birthday, Krispy!...TO THE GROUND

Greetings, folks! Alz interrupts your glorious weekly dose of Krispy's Comic-Con coverage with an important announcement:

Today is Krispy's birthday.  You know what that means!  It's doodle time--but more than that, it's storytime!  Aww yeah!  What better way to celebrate my love for my beloved Krispy than to abuse entertain her?

I bring you an illustrated tale that I like to call Krispy's Birthday TO THE GROUND.

(Yes, we did watch The Lonely Island's I Threw It On the Ground back when it first came out. Every now and then--particularly now--it comes back full-force into our lives.)

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Krispy's Birthday TO THE GROUND

by Alz

Once upon a time, Krispy was born.

This is Krispy.

As things that are born tend to do, she grew up (as opposed to the opposite--growing down is both unconventional and unhealthy when you are a Krispy) and she wrote and went to school and Comic-Con and clubbed and helped raise a Loki and found herself afflicted by a mortal case of the Alz, but there are no helping some things.

Yet Krispy was a happy Krispy and soon enough, it was that special day again, the day that the universe was made that much more a kickass place by reason of her coming into existence.  Yes, it was Krispy's birthday again!

As Krispy was celebratory by nature whenever a promise of dessert was involved, she donned a party hat in preparation for the big day.  Like a creeper lurking in the shadows, Alz observed this phenomenon.  The wheels of machination, well-oiled by years of sadistic cunning, began to turn in Alz's head.

As Krispy was afflicted by a mortal case of the Alz, naturally Alz felt obliged to do something appropriate for the occasion.

She followed up on her action by wishing Krispy the appropriate birthday sentiment.

Krispy was a mite less than pleased by Alz's attempt at festivity but she restrained herself admirably from such catharses as tears, recrimination, or violence.  Krispy considered herself a paragon of courtesy and anyway, it was her birthday, so she thought she ought to be generous.  Alz was Alz, after all, and there was little enough that could be done to help her.

Instead of dwelling upon a minor damper on an otherwise spectacular day, Krispy instead turned her attention toward matters of utmost importance--namely, cake.

There are few things in this world that are more glorious than a triple chocolate mocha fudge espresso ice cream cake.  And there is nothing in this world more glorious than having a triple chocolate mocha fudge espresso ice cream cake all to yourself.

Alz, of course, was not yet done with her version of celebrating.

Krispy remained a saint.  She did not murder Alz in the face.  There was no helping now that the ground had taken and enjoyed the birthday cake all to itself.  The ground had partaken of the gloriousness that, by rights, ought to have been Krispy's, but Krispy put it from her mind.  She walked on the ground everyday and without the ground, life would be pretty hard, floating in space and all, so she supposed it was all right that the ground celebrated her birthday with her.  Krispy was a sharing person, though she rather wished Alz hadn't chosen to share her things for her.

Still, there was the other best part of birthdays for her to enjoy.  What birthday is complete without presents?

And yet somehow, despite her valiant effort to remain happy and chillaxed, Krispy couldn't help but feel a little, well, edgy.

Surely, though, Alz was done.  She couldn't ruin invite her way into every aspect of Krispy's birthday.  Surely it was all in Krispy's head, this niggling foreboding feeling that Alz was lurking somewhere nearby, just waiting for the opportune moment to strike.

Paranoia is sometimes well-founded.

There are no helping some things Krispy told herself as Alz jumped off the flattened remains of the birthday present.  Really, Alz was no help at all, and there was no helping her.

It was at this point that Alz turned to Krispy and spread her arms wide.  Her smile was joyous, her demeanor demure, her eyes super swirly as she said to Krispy:

There are no helping some things, but sometimes you just have to help yourself.  Krispy had gotten exactly what she wanted from Alz for her birthday.  And it made this the best birthday ever.

THE END

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Join me now, peeps, in wishing Krispy the happiest birthday ever TO THE GROUND!  Krispy, may your day be filled with food and frolicking!  HOORAY!